I hate Dora the Explorer

Well the other day I was flipping through the channels on my T.V. when I saw that kid’s show “Dora the Explorer.” I thought, “Well nothing else is on. It can’t be too bad.” Wrong. After watching that show for five seconds I remembered how much I hate humanity. For those of you fortunate enough not to have seen this piece of shit, the entire premise revolves around a politically-correct little Hispanic girl who speaks broken Spanish/English wandering through the woods with talking objects in order to get to an easily accessible destination that now suddenly requires her and her inanimate friends to wander in their destination’s general vicinity.

After watching this crap for less than thirty seconds, I wanted to kill myself. Dora and her magical monkey friend were standing at a broken bridge playing musical instruments in order to fix it. What? How dumb are they? Music can’t fix a damn bridge. But then they had the balls to ask ME what instrument they had to play next! It’s right next to them! How dare they insult my intelligence? Then, before I can answer her stupid, insulting question, little kids shout out the answer! I was furious. How dare they insult me again? At this point I was ready to shoot the first thing I saw, which was, coincidentally, my TV. Well, I need to go buy a new TV now. I hope you enjoy your fucking bridge you little idiot. I hope you drown in the two feet of water you didn’t seem to be able to wade across.